How To Handle Stress In Engineering Leadership Roles
Engineering leadership can be stressful. How do you deal with it?
Being a leader is stressful, especially in tech.
You’re leading a team and under pressure. You’re feeling stressed that things aren’t going well. Projects are delayed, budgets have been cut, your services are constantly at risk of meltdown, customers are upset, people are unhappy, senior leaders are frustrated, and you have too much work to get done.
You’re responsible, but you’re not directly in control.
It’s no wonder you’re stressed.
When you take responsibility for people, teams, services, and business outcomes, there is one certainty—it will sometimes be challenging and stressful.
I’ve struggled with stress at various points throughout my career as a manager.
Here are 6 ideas to help you build resilience and manage stress as an engineering leader.
1. Don’t Become Isolated
One trap you can easily fall into as a leader is becoming isolated, thinking you must solve everything yourself.
“I need to solve this myself” vs “We need to solve this”.
Solving problems in isolation can rapidly lead to stress and burnout.
Don’t avoid asking your team, coach, mentor, subject experts, boss, or peers for help, advice, or input. The bigger your network and the more openly you can talk about your challenges, the less stressed you’ll feel.
Engineers are often told, “Don’t be afraid to ask for help.” The same goes for managers.
Your job is to bring people together to achieve a result, not do everything yourself.
Tip: Talk to people about the challenges you’re facing. You are not supposed to do everything alone.
2. Learn From Stress
Jeff Bezos said:
“Stress primarily comes from not taking action over something you can have some control over.”
Stress can be a strong clue that something is wrong, but you're not taking action.
Early in my career as a manager, I spent months feeling stressed and losing sleep over a potentially serious operational issue with a service I was responsible for. I knew the problem could be fixed but kept thinking about it rather than acting.
"What if ..."
I was stressed but wasn’t taking action.
Action is the only thing you control.
Tip: Think about why you’re stressed. What action “could” you take? What action are you not taking?
3. Coaching
Not everyone has the luxury of hiring a coach, but during really difficult periods, having a coach who listens and works through problems with you is a huge help.
This is similar to doing everything by yourself. Talking to other people about your problems is the best thing you can do when you're stressed, but worrying on your own is the worst thing you can do.
Tip: Look for a coach. Some companies will fund this, so see if that’s an option.
4. Allocate Thinking Time
Being overly busy can quickly lead to stress because you don’t have time to think or do deep work.
Find space in your calendar each week to think.
This thinking time can help you step back from daily firefighting and think strategically.
Tip: Keep 1 hour of your morning free as “thinking time”.
5. Take A Break
After a sustained period of stress, you can start to lose perspective. Taking time off can be a quick and easy way to reset yourself.
Tip: Take time off if you need it. Rest. Reset. Everything will be fine.
6. Prioritise Yourself Before Work
When stressed, working longer hours and ignoring your health can be tempting, but it’s almost always a bad trade-off.
Getting enough sleep, exercising, and caring for yourself should always be non-negotiables.
Set boundaries and keep them.
Tip: Don’t stop doing the things that give you energy. Keep your boundaries, especially when stressed.
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